Bio mom.

Bio mom.


We all come to the table with ideas, assumptions and prejudices. Whether we like it or not.

When I met my foster son’s biological mother nine months ago, I stood back. Stayed back intentionally.

Fears and questions filled my head and my heart. Allowing polite civility but not warm friendship.

I was cautious.

​Time changes things though. And time has changed me and changed our relationship.

Now, we go in for a hug after she has a visit with Big D.

I don’t block my number on days we call her to check in.

And when she asks me to clean her little boy’s ears, I stopped being defensive.

​We are on the same team.

While we always might have been technically. Now we are emotionally. Which makes all the difference.

We are both in it for Big D. Wanting the very best for him.

I can’t fix the world so that he can go home, but I can stop breaking it. Stop causing new rifts that don’t need to be.

I can say with all my heart, “We want your precious boy home with you,” even as I know we are going to miss him something awful.

And whether that happens or doesn’t, I’m glad that today I’m rooting for his mom. Because that’s rooting for him.

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  1. Frank Block

    The transformation continues – that opening up to Big D’s need for there to be a team around him that’s united, working together – way to go, so difficult to be vulnerable / take risks in a situation like this. You’re setting an important example! Thanks.

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