Early on in my foster training days, I was turned on to Karyn Purvis and her Empowered to Connect crew. After reading and listening for two years, I was finally able to attend a conference this past weekend.
Oddly enough, before yesterday, I always felt disempowered by Karyn’s teachings. I didn’t doubt that they were spot on. That she was right. But I didn’t seem to understand how to do what was right. Only that what I was doing was wrong.
It felt like I heard more don’ts than dos.
But then the conference. Cue lights and music.
I might just need my hand held more than most, but the videos showing Karyn literally holding kids’ hands as they disobeyed made it finally start to click. I walked away with a list of tangible ideas and practical strategies on how to help our boys. And it’s already making a difference.
My biggest takeaway though wasn’t from Karyn or anyone on stage. It was from a friend sitting next to me. During a break, she casually used the word “alpha” to describe Karyn’s presence.
That was it. Alpha.
Suddenly so much clicked for me.
I could see Karyn’s strength and grace interwoven. Structure always coming through nurture. Not one versus the other.
Too often I error by choosing. Picking punitive or permissive. Rather than finding the sweet spot that’s neither.
Karyn instead loves with and, not or. Always comforting while standing firm despite the anger or disrespect she might be shown.
Not the domineering or tyrannical I fear. But not the mousy and meek I can swing to instead.
I can do this kind of alpha. This strength and grace.