On writing.

On writing.


I’ve never considered myself a writer. In fact, as a graphic designer by trade, I’ve always said that I do pictures, not words.

Secretly, this is also because the majority of my family is uncannily gifted at crossword puzzles and I want to avoid the embarrassment of falling far from the apple tree.

Yet now I find myself writing.

It started as an attempt to share our experience in foster care less terribly awkwardly.

For so long, friends or acquaintances asked how it was going and I always seemed to say the wrong thing. Sharing too much or too little. Always with a steady look of constipation.

After a year, things didn’t seem to be getting better. I didn’t seem to be getting better.

I felt more and more isolated as I struggled to share my life and my loves and my heartbreaks with my community.

I wanted and needed to talk about these beautiful babes that were coming in and out of our home. But I wanted and needed to protect their stories more.

Finally, after a dear friend encouraged me to write a book about it, I thought essays might be a good start. To me, that’s what this. Essays more than blog posts.

These are letters to those who want to know why we do foster care. To learn why my eyes are sadder and my smile slower. And to understand why I would never go back.

For me, writing is deeply therapeutic. Allowing me to externally process with a magical delete button. And through it revealing beautiful kids. To me and to others.

I hope it serves as a light on these precious children. Helping us see them better. And love them better. Together.

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  1. Pam

    I want you to know that you are an amazing writer. I know you didn’t make this post to get kudos, but doggone it, I’m going to give you kudos anyway. You capture the essence of what you do, find words and tempo, and can I say it?, soul, and you put it into a written, heartfelt, form. If you wrote a book, I would buy it. If you wrote a song, I would sing along with you. Most importantly, though, you capture the deepest parts of hurting children and make it both real and accessible to us the reader, without inflicting more pain on anyone. You are such an insightful person, seeing beyond the temper fits, the wild, uncontrolled actions of those you love who want to lash out, and you simply love them. I know documenting every minute of every day would be impossible and would give light to a realism that may show the deepest suffering you experience, but what you do write, gives us a tear-blurred lens into not just what you do, but who you are as a family. You have blessed me beyond what my trifling comment can say.

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